Denmark is sadly a hellish place if you happen to be a pig, but the brioche and fruits that tower on the table before me have me hastily attaching a feedbag.

Women don't go to war to kill other women. Wars and armies and nuclear weapons are essentially heterosexual hobbies.

Age gives you a great sense of proportion. You can be very hard on yourself when you're younger but now I just think 'well everybody's absolutely mad and I'm doing quite well'.

I would never, ever do anything as vulgar as having fun.

Sometimes I wish I was just a simple drunkard.

These tears I'm wailing, I spill not without reason. Remove them, my dearest love. Take me to the place I've been dreaming of, where the grotesquely lonely meet the grotesquely lonely and they whisper, just very softly, Please be mine, Dearest Love.

Whenever I go past McDonalds I get very, very angry.