If met Vic Reeves, I'd have no desire other than to smack him in the face.

I'd love to...but only with you.

Because you wear a uniform, a smelly uniform...and so you think you can be rude to me.

I don't like myself very much as a person, but I'm proud of what I create.

Nothing is important, so people, realising that, should get on with their lives, go mad, take their clothes off, jump in the canal, jump into one of those supermarket trolleys, race around the supermarket and steal Mars bars and kiss kittens.

I wish that Prince Charles had been shot. I think it would have made the world a more interesting place.

I don't perform. Seals perform.