He drove me home in the van, complaining, 'Women only like me for my mind'.

Yes I have had a tan, actually. I went to Los Angeles and got one there, but it didn't make it back to Britain. You're not allowed to come through customs with a tan.

Life's full of tricky snakes and ladders.

Satan rejected my soul; as low as he goes, he never quite goes this low.

Although I don't have anything against people from other countries, the higher the influx into England the more the British identity disappears.

Diazapam (that's valium), temazepam, lithium, ECT, HRT - how long must I stay on this stuff? Don't give me anymore!

There are some bad people on the rise; they're saving their own skins by ruining people's lives.