I've always assumed there's a dark river flowing beneath my fans' desires.

Animals are nicer than humans and they're conscious beings. If you stick your grandmother in an oven, she will probably be tasty. But is that any reason to eat your grandmother?

And make no mistake, my friend, your pointless life will end; but before you go, can you look at the truth?

There's more to life than books you know, but not much more.

The rhino is now more or less extinct, and it's not because of global warming or shrinking habitats. It's because of Beyonce's handbags.

You are a work of art.

Whoever says the Smiths have split shall be severely spanked by me with a wet plimsoll.