Young men now want to be caregivers as well as earners so they have joined with women in demanding a different compact at work; they want flex and time for family too.

Curiosity about the world and questioning of the status quo to open minds to alternative visions of the future are essential leadership skills. And they can be learned.

People at all levels and in all roles in organizations are wrestling with the challenges of modern life, trying to find ways to create harmony among the different parts of their lives while aiming to achieve their goals and live with purpose.

The thing to keep in mind is that the answer to the question I often get - Are leaders born or made? - is an emphatic yes! All leaders are born, and all are made, through devoted practice of reflecting on experience to learn what's worked and what hasn't, good coaching and accountability pressure to grow, good luck, and, of course, some talent.

I find that many people have a hard time, at first, in painting a compelling image of an achievable future; to envision their legacy, that is. Often this is because they're afraid to commit for fear of failure.

The really good news is that when you give people the tools and the support to pursue what I call "four-way wins" - that is, improved performance in all parts of life - they are actually much likely to achieve these wins and, through the process, develop further their leadership skills.

You really can choose to be the leader you want to be, in all parts of your life, if you take seriously the idea that there's a purpose to your life worth pursuing because it matters not just to you but to others. Consciously and deliberating devoting effort to realizing this idea is ennobling, though never without some struggle.