It's been my observation, after years in the [insurance] business, that a certain percent of the population simply can't resist the urge to cheat.

If high heels were so wonderful, men would still be wearing them.

Lucky is the spouse who dies first, who never has to know what survivors endure.

I figure guys are like Whitman's Samplers. I like to take a little bite out of each and then move on before the whole box gets stale.

All of us are subjected to somebody else's power at some point. So once in a while you kiss ass. So what? Either you make your peace with that early, or you end up living your life as a crank and a misfit.

Grade school was perilous. ... I can see how I must have worried them. I was the kind of kid who, for no apparent reason, wept piteously or threw up on myself. On an especially scary day, I sometimes did both.

Some people can't see the color red. That doesn't mean it isn't there.