But today when I am 17 and warm and well fed, I'm keeping this journal for myself so I can always remember life as we knew it, life as we know it, for a time when I am no longer in the sunroom.

One of the more gratifying things about guilt is that it makes us feel important.

About 10 minutes ago, we all woke up because of this strange roaring sound. We all raced toward the sound, which turned out to be the washing machine going back on. Who knew the rinse cycle could be so scary?

Even the rats are drowning,' Alex said. Nah,' Kevin said. 'They've been taking swimming lessons at the Y.

I thought about how unlikely it was I would ever meet any guy,fall in love, get married, have babies. Especially since I was going to spend the rest of my life in the cellar, where, in the not too distant future, I'd turn into a toadstool. I hoped I'd be the poisonous variety.

But I don't want to have to stop feeling. I really think I'd rather die than stop feeling.

Librarians! Librarians always know how to find out things. That was their job even before the Internet.