It wouldn't be New Year's without a resolution. I've resolved to take a moment every day for the rest of my life to appreciate what I have.
Susan Beth PfefferBut it's our curse and our blessing to remember the past and to know there's a future. —Charlie
Susan Beth PfefferI guess I always felt even if the world came to an end, McDonald's would still be open.
Susan Beth PfefferI feel myself shriveling along with my world, getting smaller and harder. I'm turning into a rock, and in some ways that's good, because rocks last forever. But if this is how I'm going to last forever, then I don't want to.
Susan Beth PfefferWhen I'm in the water I feel as though nothing bad has happened. I think about the fish, how they don't know what's going on. Their world is unchanged. Actually it's probably better now to be a tuna or a sardine or a salmon. Less chance of ending up as somebody's lunch.
Susan Beth PfefferBut today when I am 17 and warm and well fed, I'm keeping this journal for myself so I can always remember life as we knew it, life as we know it, for a time when I am no longer in the sunroom.
Susan Beth PfefferLife catches you by surprise. It always does. But there's good mixed in with the bad. It's there. You just have to recognize it.
Susan Beth PfefferI hate the moon. I hate tides and earthquakes and volcanoes. I hate a world where things that have absolutely nothing to do with me can destroy my life and the lives of people I love.
Susan Beth PfefferBut I don't want to have to stop feeling. I really think I'd rather die than stop feeling.
Susan Beth PfefferThe electricity came on for the second time today wile we were eating. This may be a fool's paradise, but it's a paradise nonetheless.
Susan Beth PfefferOne of the more gratifying things about guilt is that it makes us feel important.
Susan Beth Pfeffer...when I came back, I found Mom sobbing at the kitchen table...Then I asked her what had happened. 'Nothing,'she said. 'I was thinking about that man...I started thinking about...if he and his wife and their other child are okay, and I don't know. It just got to me.' 'I know,' I said, because I did know. Sometimes it's safer to cry about people you don't know than to think about people you really love.
Susan Beth PfefferWhat's the point of God making us human if He doesn't want us to act like we're human?' 'To see if we can rise above our natures,'Megan said.
Susan Beth PfefferThe Christmas after Mom & Dad split up, they both went crazy buying us presents. Matt, Jonny, and I were showered with gifts at home and at Dads apartment. I thought that was great. I was all in favor of my love being paid for with presents. This year all I got was a diary and a secondhand watch. Okay, I know this is corny, but this really is what Christmas is all about.
Susan Beth PfefferCarlos was probably somewhere warm, eating three meals a day, and sleeping in a real bed. That was the life
Susan Beth Pfefferwoman must not depend on the protection of man, but must learn to protect herself
Susan Beth PfefferI thought about the earth then, really thought about it, the tsunami's and earthquakes and volcanoes, all the horrors I haven't witnessed but have changed my life, the lives of everyone I know, all the people I'll never know. I thought about life without the sun, the moon, stars, without flowers and warm days in May. I thought about a year ago and all the good things I'd taken for granted and all the unbearable things that had replaced those simple blessings. And even though I hated the thought of crying in from of Syl, tears streamed down my face.
Susan Beth PfefferBack in the time when life was easy, the Internet would have told me what I needed to know. The great thing about the Internet was it didn't care why you were asking.
Susan Beth PfefferI'm 16 years old. Let me get my learner's permit first. then I'll worry about lifetime commitments
Susan Beth PfefferThis morning the electricity came on for a few minutes, and when it did, Jonny said, "Hey, it's a black-on." This is what passes for humor around here.
Susan Beth PfefferI'm the one not caring. I'm the one pretending the Earth isn't shattering all around me because I don't want it to be. I don't want to know there was an earthquake in Missouri. I don't want to know the Midwest can die, also, that what's going on isn't just tides and tsunamis. I don't want to have any more to be afraid of. I didn't start this diary for it to be a record of death.
Susan Beth PfefferThey say asteroids hit the moon pretty often, which is how the moon gets its crater, but this one is going to be the biggest asteroid ever to hit it and on a clear night you should be able to see the impact when it happens, maybe even with the naked eye but certainly with binoculars. They made it sound pretty dramatic, but I still don't think it's worth three homework assignments.
Susan Beth PfefferTrust in tomorrow...Every day of your life, there's been a tomorrow. I promise you, there'll be a tomorrow. —Alex Morales to Miranda Evans
Susan Beth PfefferAbout 10 minutes ago, we all woke up because of this strange roaring sound. We all raced toward the sound, which turned out to be the washing machine going back on. Who knew the rinse cycle could be so scary?
Susan Beth PfefferMaybe I'm wrong," Mom said. "Maybe the world really is coming to an end." "Should I try Fox News?" I asked. Mom shuddered. "We're not that desperate," she said.
Susan Beth PfefferLisa's baby was due about now. I've decided she had it and it was a girl. I've named her Rachel.
Susan Beth PfefferHere's the funny thing about the world coming to an end. Once it gets going, it doesn't seem to stop.
Susan Beth PfefferThe last living boy in America drops into my bedroom only he wants to be a monk. I think that pretty much sums up my life.
Susan Beth PfefferBecause if I let myself feel the pain and the anger, I think it might kill me. Or I might kill someone else. I know it's wrong to feel that way about God and I know its's wrong to not feel anything. I hate it. I don't hate God. I hate not loving Him.
Susan Beth PfefferHe walked out of the office to find Kevin Daley standing there. 'I like your style,' Kevin said. Thank you,' Alex said. 'I like it, too.
Susan Beth PfefferMom, is the world coming to an end?" Jonny asked, picking up the plate of cookies and ramming one into his mouth. "No, it isn'T," Mom said, folding her lawn chair and carrying it to the front of the house. "And yes, you do have to go to school tomorrow.
Susan Beth PfefferLibrarians! Librarians always know how to find out things. That was their job even before the Internet.
Susan Beth PfefferI never really thought about how when I look at the moon it;s the same moon as Shakespeare and Marie Antoinette and George Washington and Cleopatra looked at.
Susan Beth PfefferI wonder if I'll ever have to decide which is worse, life as we're living or no life at all.
Susan Beth PfefferWhat about desserts?" I asked. "If the world comes to an end, I'm going to want cookies." "We're all going to want cookies if the world comes to an end," Mrs. Nesbitt agreed. "And chips and pretzels. If the world is coming to an end, why should I care about my blood pressure?" "Okay, we'll die fat," Mom said.
Susan Beth PfefferSo what if I don't learn algebra?' 'Someday schools will be open again,' Mom said. 'Things will be normal. You need to do your work now for when that happens.' 'That's never going to happen,' Jon said. 'And even if schools do open up somewhere, they're not going to open up here. There aren't enough people left.' 'We don't know how many people are like us, holed up, making do until times get better.' 'I bet whoever they are, they aren't studying algebra,' Jon said.
Susan Beth PfefferMatt looked up kids from his high school class. Only three were listed as dead, but a bunch were listed as missing/presumed dead. As a test, he looked us up, but none of our names were on any of the lists. And that's how we know we're alive this Memorial Day.
Susan Beth Pfeffer