The other thing Aron found about sensitive people is that sometimes they're highly empathic. It's as if they have thinner boundaries separating them from other people's emotions and from the tragedies and cruelties of the world. They tend to have unusually strong consciences. ... they're acutely aware of the consequences of a lapse in their own behavior.
Susan CainWomen were also urged to work on a mysterious quality called 'fascination.' Coming of age in the 1920's was a competitive business.
Susan CainI had always imagined Rosa Parks as a stately woman with a bold temperament, someone who could easily stand up to a busload of glowering passengers. But when she died in 2005 at the age of ninety-two, the flood of obituaries recalled her as soft-spoken, sweet, and small in stature. They said she was "timid and shy" but had "the courage of a lion." They were full of phrases like "radical humility" and "quiet fortitude.
Susan CainIn our culture, snails are not considered valiant animals - we are constantly exhorting people to "come out of their shells" - but there's a lot to be said for taking your home with you wherever you go.
Susan CainSchwartz's research suggests something important: we can stretch our personalities, but only up to a point. Our inborn temperaments influence us, regardless of the lives we lead. A sizeable part of who we are is ordained by our genes, by our brains, by our nervous systems. And yet the elasticity that Schwartz found in some of the high-reactive teens also suggests the converse: we have free will and can use it to shape our personalities.
Susan CainAsk your child for information in a gentle, nonjudgmental way, with specific, clear questions. Instead of โHow was your day?โ try โWhat did you do in math class today?โ Instead of โDo you like your teacher?โ ask โWhat do you like about your teacher?โ Or โWhat do you not like so much?โ Let her take her time to answer. Try to avoid asking, in the overly bright voice of parents everywhere, โDid you have fun in school today?!โ Sheโll sense how important it is that the answer be yes.
Susan Cain