I never thought I'd have to give you-a former Sunday School teacher-a lecture on ethics." "Former Sunday School teachers don't go around without their underwear." "You show me where it says that in the Bible.

You’re the most important thing in the world to me. I know you don’t believe it, but I’m going to prove it to you.

Chasing after a guy who's not interested in you will rip the hell out of your self-respect. Better to face facts now because the longer you put it off, the harder it'll be.

Ironic, isn't it, what religion does to people?" "I guess it's more ironic what people do to religion.

She reached into the pocket of her dress and threw the small stack of bills at him. They fluttered to the ground like broken dreams. "I hope you choke on every penny." "Pick that up." She drew back her arm and slapped him as hard as she could.

There’s no accounting for the mysteries of the human heart

As far as I'm concerned, men like you were put on this world to entertain women like me.