She's not going to let go until she sees for herself that there's nothing left to hold on to.

Oh and P.S.? I am in dire need of more coffee. Industrial strength.

We’re never gonna understand women. They’re way too complex. You’ve got too many variables to consider. PMS, bad hair days, miscellaneous mood swings . . . there’s no way to tell what’s causing their attitude. - Mike

School would be way more tolerable if everyone wasn’t so afraid to be who they really are. And if everyone else would let them.

I'm trying to paint an underwater ocean scene. It's just not working. My queen angelfish is supposed to have these bright yellow eyes and electric-blue stripes along the edge of her fin. Instead, it looks like I'm trying to paint a fried egg with some blue bacon. Maybe I can pass it off as postmodern.

Apparently, it used to be extremely common for families to have two parents. They stayed together because that’s what all the other parents did. Now there are so many options, so many different ways to be a family. So many ways to rip a family apart.

Girls with the beauty-and-brains thing going on are the most intimidating girls in the world.