Resolve to make at least one person happy every day, and then in ten years you may have made three thousand, six hundred and fifty persons happy, or brightened a small town by your contribution to the fund of general enjoyment.

[T]he 47th proposition in Euclid might now be voted down with as much ease as any proposition in politics; and therefore if Lord Hawkesbury hates the abstract truths of science as much as he hates concrete truth in human affairs, now is his time for getting rid of the multiplication table, and passing a vote of censure upon the pretensions of the hypotenuse.

Do not try to push your way through to the front ranks of your profession; do not run after distinctions and rewards; but do your utmost to find an entry into the world of beauty.

How can a bishop marry? How can he flirt? The most he can say is "I will see you in the vestry after service."

What two ideas are more inseparable than beer and Britannia?

Let the Dean and Canons lay their heads together and the thing will be done.

When I hear any man talk of an unalterable law, the only effect it produces on me is to convince me that he is an unalterable fool