At what point does a fly give up trying to escape through a closed window โ do its survival instincts keep it going until it is physically capable of no more, or does it eventually learn after one crash too many that there is no way out? At what point do you decide that enough is enough?
Tabitha SuzumaI don't know when it started - this thing - bit it's growing, muffling me, suffocating me like poison ivy. I grew into it. It grew into me. We blurred at the edges, became an amorphous, seeping, crawling thing.
Tabitha SuzumaWillaโs big blue eyes, Willaโs dimpled-cheeked smile. Tiffinโs shaggy blond mane, Tiffinโs cheeky grin. Kitโs yells of excitement, Kitโs glow of pride. Mayaโs face, Mayaโs kisses, Mayaโs love. Maya, Maya, Maya . . .
Tabitha Suzuma...and my loneliness, always my loneliness - that airless bubble of despair that is slowing stifling me.
Tabitha SuzumaAnd I know how he feelsโitโs so good it hurts. I think Iโm going to die from happiness. I think Iโm going to die from pain. Time has stopped; time is racing.
Tabitha SuzumaI love you inโin every kind of way.โ โI feel like that too . . .โ His voice is shocked and raw. โItโs โ itโs a feeling so big I sometimes think itโs going to swalow me. Itโs so strong I feel it could kil me. It keeps growing and I canโt โ I donโt know what to do to stop it. But โ but weโre not supposed to do this โ to love each other like this!
Tabitha Suzuma