Most of us grew up with a very damaging story that something is wrong with us. Gradually - or as in my case, suddenly - we become resolved not to believe this anymore. It takes a dedicated practice to follow up on that resolution, because the conditioning is very strong to keep generating self-demeaning stories.

My first book, 'Radical Acceptance', grew out of the suffering of feeling personally deficient and unworthy. Because most of us are so quick to turn against ourselves, the teachings and practices of radical acceptance continue as a strong current in 'True Refuge': nurturing a forgiving, understanding heart is a basic step on the path.

Become a witness to your thoughts.

If I'm judging the attachment, myself, or another person, then I create separation.

The main thing going on around intimacy is that we've developed a lot of strategies so we'll be a desirable package.

When we open to love, we become love.

It may sound lovey-dovey, but there's research showing the positive effect of meditation on parts of the brain that control emotion.