There are some power-abusing, corrupt monsters in our federal government that despise me because I have the audacity to speak the truth.

If you want to get a sensual thunderbolt then you have got to be cocked, locked and ready to rock, doc. I find that whole milk and lots of Vitamin D help.

Use your lives wisely, my friends, and conserve these precious freedoms for future generations.

I don't pay to have my dirty work done for me. I do it myself.

James Brown's Live at the Apollo is not just a musical whiplash, it's a spiritual cleansing. You can just close your eyes and see him doing the splits, kicking the mic stand and doing a 360.

Ignorance is indeed bliss, but it is also dangerous and embarrassing.

I know we just met today, but I gotta see you tomorrow. I know this is our first date, I don't expect you to swallow.