I can't be talking to a tree. If I was talking to a tree I'd be mad, and I'm not mad, so trees can't talk.

If you were going to be successful in the world of crime, you needed a reputation for honesty.

Nanny Ogg looked under her bed in case there was a man there. Well, you never knew your luck.

This is a lovely party," said the Bursar to a chair, "I wish I was here.

Evolution was far more thrilling to me than the biblical account. Who would not rather be a rising ape than a falling angel? To my juvenile eyes, Darwin was proved true every day. It doesn't take much to make us flip back into monkeys again.

Gravity is a habit that is hard to shake off.

You can't remember the plot of the Dr Who movie because it didn't have one, just a lot of plot holes strung together. It did have a lot of flashing lights, though.