It wasn't that Nanny Ogg sang badly. It was just that she could hit notes which, when amplified by a tin bath half full of water, ceased to be sound and became some sort of invasive presence.

Sometimes I feel that the world is made up of sensible people who know the plot and bloody idiots who don't.

Around it are those countries which, according to History, constitute the civilised world ie, a world that can support historians

There are hardly any excesses of the most crazed psychopath that cannot easily be duplicated by a normal kindly family man who just comes in to work every day and has a job to do.

He'd heard that writers spent all day in their dressing gowns drinking champagne. This is, of course, absolutely true.

Fantasy doesn't have to be fantastic. American writers in particular find this much harder to grasp. You need to have your feet on the ground as much as your head in the clouds. The cute dragon that sits on your shoulder also craps all down your back, but this makes it more interesting because it gives it an added dimension.

Few things are hidden from a quiet child with good eyesight.