Every procedure for getting a cat to take a pill works fine - once. Like the Borg, they learn.

Sheep are stupid, and have to be driven. But goats are intelligent, and need to be led.

I would like to die peacefully with Thomas Tallis on my iPod before the disease takes me over and I hope that will not be for quite some time to come, because if I knew that I could die at any time I wanted, then suddenly every day would be as precious as a million pounds, if I knew that I could die, I would live. My life, my death, my choice.

There’s no point in believing in things that exist.

People were people, even if they had four legs and had called themselves names like Dangerous Beans, which is the kind of name you gave yourself if you learned to read before you understood what all the words actually meant.

Any fool could be a witch with a runic knife, but it took skill to be one with an apple corer.

Vimes stalked gloomily through the crowded streets, feeling like the only pickled onion in a fruit salad.