We sleepwalk through our lives, because how could we live if we were always this awake?

... when your name is really and truly Percy Blakeney, pronounced 'Black-knee', and you still have bad acne in your twenties, you accept Pimple as a nickname and are grateful that it wasn't anything worse.

The more you think about it, the more amazing the everyday world of human beings becomes: most of it doesn't actually exist at all.

Vimes's lack of interest in other people's children was limitless.

You know I've never agreed with baths. Sittin' around in your own dirt like that.

I reckon responsible behavior is something to get when you grow older. Like varicose veins.

The trouble with thinking was that, once you started, you went on doing it.