I would like permission to fetch a note from my mother, sir' Ridcully sighed. 'Rincewind, you once informed me, to my everlasting puzzlement, that you never knew your mother because she ran away before you were born. Distinctly remember writing it down in my diary. Would you like another try?' 'Permission to go and find my mother?'

What’s this here,” he said suspiciously, “about us got to give you faggots?” Oh, we have to have them,” said Newt, “We burn them.” Say what?” We burn them.” The guard’s face broadened into a grin. And they’d told him England was soft. “Right on!” he said

I'm interested in mythology generally, but India has no special place in my heart - although Hindu gods seem a lot more fun.

Most horses don't walk backwards voluntarily, because what they can't see doesn't exist.

Any fool could be a witch with a runic knife, but it took skill to be one with an apple corer.

Every procedure for getting a cat to take a pill works fine - once. Like the Borg, they learn.

Life is a trick, and you get one chance to learn it.