There are millions of chords. There are millions of numbers. And everyone forgets the one that is a zero. But without the zero, numbers are just arithmetic. Without the empty chord, music is just noise.

Mort was already aware that love made you feel hot and cold and cruel and weak, but he hadn't realized that it could make you stupid.

First draft: let it run. Turn all the knobs up to 11. Second draft: hell. Cut it down and cut it into shape. Third draft: comb its nose and blow its hair. I usually find that most of the book will have handed itself to me on that first draft.

A number of religions in Ankh-Morpork still practiced human sacrifice, except that they didn't really need to practice any more because they had got so good at it.

Ye know full well that the meaning of life is to find your gift. To find your gift is happiness. Never tae find it is misery.

The students were staring at her in the manner of those who have heard of the species 'female' but have never expected to get this close to one.

It's not worth doing something unless you were doing something that someone, somewere, would much rather you weren't doing.