Sometimes the truth is arrived at by adding all the little lies together and deducting them from the totality of what is known.

When much is taken, something is returned.

I write books back to back, and I work very hard on them.

One of the recurring philosophical questions is: 'Does a falling tree in the forest make a sound when there is no one to hear?' Which says something about the nature of philosophers , because there is always someone in a forest. It may only be a badger, wondering what that cracking noise was, or a squirrel a bit puzzled by all the scenery going upwards, but someone.

Vampires have risen from the dead, the grave, and the crypt, but have never managed it from the cat.

He had about the same life expectancy as a three legged hedgehog on a six lane motorway.

"Right!" "Right!" "You can get there!" "I can get there!" "You're a natural at counting to two!" "I'm a nat'ral at counting to two!" "If you can count to two, you can count to anything!" "If I can count to two, I can count to anything!" "And then the world is your mollusc!" "My mollusc! What's a mollusc?