What is normal? Normal was yesterday. If you lose a leg, one day you're hopping around on one leg, so you know the difference.

Just to keep bad dreams at bay, she took a swig out of a bottle that smelled of apples and happy brain-death.

It must be powerful language if you canna make oout what the heel it’s goin’ on aboot!

Corporal Nobbs had been disqualified from the human race for shoving

I'd like to stand up for the rights of people who put everything on their burger - chutney, mustard, pickle, mustard pickle, tomato sauce... It is common knowledge in my family that I can't tell the difference between a veggie burger and a meat one, because the ratio of burger to pickles is so high.

Picture a tall, dark figure, surrounded by cornfields... NO, YOU CAN'T RIDE A CAT. WHO EVER HEARD OF THE DEATH OF RATS RIDING A CAT? THE DEATH OF RATS WOULD RIDE SOME KIND OF DOG. Picture more fields, a great horizon-spanning network of fields, rolling in gentle waves... DON'T ASK ME I DON'T KNOW. SOME KIND OF TERRIER, MAYBE. ...fields of corn, alive, whispering in the breeze... RIGHT, AND THE DEATH OF FLEAS CAN RIDE IT TOO. THAT WAY YOU KILL TWO BIRDS WITH ONE STONE. ...awaiting the clockwork of the seasons. METAPHORICALLY.

He stared at his feet. “I’m still very ignorant,” he said, “but at least I’m ignorant about really important things.