He had about the same life expectancy as a three legged hedgehog on a six lane motorway.

Theres no stink more sorrorful than the stink of wet, burnt paper. It means: the end.

The universe was bad enough without people poking it.

You do know you could find yourself charged with being a dominant species while under the influence of impulse-driven consumerism, don't you?

It was then that Marvin got religion. Not the quiet, personal kind, that involves doing good deeds and living a better life; not even the kind that involves putting on a suit and ringing people's doorbells; but the kind that involves having your own TV network and getting people to send you money.

There are, it has been said, two types of people in the world. There are those who, when presented with a glass that is exactly half full, say: this glass is half full. And then there are those who say: this glass is half empty. The world belongs, however, to those who can look at the glass and say: What's up with this glass? Excuse me? Excuse me? This is my glass? I don't think so. My glass was full! And it was a bigger glass! Who's been pinching my beer?

A marriage is always made up of two people who are prepared to swear that only the other one snores.