The most prudent thing any intelligent animal can do, if it would prefer its descendents not to spend a lot of time on a slab with electrodes clamped to their brains or sticking mines on the bottom of ships, or being patronised by zoologists, is to make bloody certain humans don't find out about it.

Welcome to fear, said Moist to himself. It's hope, turned inside out. You know it can't go wrong, you're sure it can't go wrong... But it might.

When all else failed, she tried being reasonable.

Thou shalt not submit thy god to market forces.

Bill Door was impressed. Miss Flitworth could actually give the word "revenue", which had two vowels and one diphthong, all the peremptoriness of the word "scum.

I do note with interest that old women in my books become young women on the covers... this is discrimination against the chronologically gifted.

There are thousands of good reasons why magic doesn't rule the world. They're called Witches and Wizards.