I may be daft but I'm no' stupid!

Everyone should occasionally break the law in some small and delightful way. It's good for the hygiene of the brain.

You call yourself some kind of goddess and you know nothing, madam, nothing. What don't die can't live. What don't live can't change. What don't change can't learn. The smallest creature that dies in the grass knows more than you.

It was Carrot who'd suggested to the Patrician that hardened criminals should be given the chance to 'serve the community' by redecorating the homes of the elderly, lending a new terror to old age and, given Ankh-Morpork's crime rate, leading to at least one old lady having her front room wallpapered so many times in six months that now she could only get in sideways.

There are some people who hate my guts. But that goes with the territory.

You will have to look a long way before you find a bunch of scum-suckers more greedy, humourless and deserving of death than the suits in the music business.

People don't like to say Fantasy they say Magic Realism which means Fantasy written by somebody I went to university with.