Be careful what you wish for. You never know who will be listening.

They felt, in fact, tremendously bucked-up, which was how Lady Ramkin would almost certainly have put it and which was definitely several letters of the alphabet away from how they normally felt.

I've never really liked the Yanks. ... You can't trust people who pick up the ball all the time when they play football.

The Librarian considered matters for a while. So…a dwarf and a troll. He preferred both species to humans. For one thing, neither of them were great readers. The Librarian was, of course, very much in favor of reading in general, but readers in particular got on his nerves. There was something, well, sacrilegious about the way they kept taking books off the shelves and wearing out the words by reading them. He liked people who loved and respected books, and the best way to do that, in the Librarian’s opinion, was to leave them on the shelves where Nature intended them to be.

When Mister Safety Catch Is Not On, Mister Crossbow Is Not Your Friend.

A marriage is always made up of two people who are prepared to swear that only the other one snores.

It's a sword. said the Hogfather. They're not meant to be safe.