Be careful what you wish for. You never know who will be listening.

He stared at his feet. “I’m still very ignorant,” he said, “but at least I’m ignorant about really important things.

'Don't think of it as dying,' said Death. 'Just think of it as leaving early to avoid the rush.'

Thats how we survive infinity - we kill it by breaking it up into small bits.

Poets have tried to describe Ankh-Morpork. They have failed. Perhaps it's the sheer zestful vitality of the place, or maybe it's just that a city with a million inhabitants and no sewers is rather robust for poets, who prefer daffodils and no wonder. So let's just say that Ankh-Morpork is as full of life as an old cheese on a hot day, as loud as a curse in a cathedral, as bright as an oil slick, as colourful as a bruise and as full of activity, industry, bustle and sheer exuberant busyness as a dead dog on a termite mound.

But…but you can’t treat religion as a sort of buffet, can you? I mean, you can’t say yes please, I’ll have some of the Celestial Paradise and a helping of the Divine Plan but go easy on the kneeling and none of the Prohibition of Images, they give me wind. Its table d´hôte or nothing, otherwise…well, it would be silly.

Don't be smart. Smart is only a polished version of dumb. Try intelligence. It will surely see you through.