The female mind is certainly a devious one, my lord." Vetinari looked at his secretary in surprise. "Well, of course it is. It has to deal with the male one.

Yes, but people have got to believe that, or what's the point MY POINT EXACTLY.

It doesn't matter how you live and die, it's how the bards wrote it down.

Magrat had used a lot of powder to make her face pale and interesting. It combined with the lavishly applied mascara to give the guard the impression that he was looking at two flies that had crashed into a sugar bowl.

It's not worth doing something unless you were doing something that someone, somewere, would much rather you weren't doing.

I never said nothing..." "I know you never! I could hear you not saying anything! You've got the loudest silences I ever did hear from anyone who wasn't dead!

Maybe the only significant difference between a really smart simulation and a human being was the noise they made when you punched them.