I meant," said Ipslore bitterly, "what is there in this world that truly makes living worthwhile?" Death thought about it. CATS, he said eventually. CATS ARE NICE.

Its useful to go out of this world and see it from the perspective of another one.

We are monkeys. We like to chatter. Chattering doesn't cost us anything.

Priests were metal-reinforced overshoes. They saved your soles. This is an Assassin joke.

I must have read every issue of 'Punch' published in the 20th century, and I think in the process I picked up the true voice of English humour - that amiable, fairly liberal, laconic voice which you find in something like 'Three Men in a Boat.'

Nanny Ogg knew how to start spelling 'banana', but didn't know how you stopped.

Funny, reely," he said. "You spend your whole life goin' to school and learnin' stuff, and they never tell you about stuff like the Bermuda Triangle and UFOs and all these Old Masters running around the inside of the Earth. Why do we have to learn boring stuff when there's all this brilliant stuff we could be learnin', that's what I want to know.