History has a habit of changing the people who think they are changing it

I would like permission to fetch a note from my mother, sir' Ridcully sighed. 'Rincewind, you once informed me, to my everlasting puzzlement, that you never knew your mother because she ran away before you were born. Distinctly remember writing it down in my diary. Would you like another try?' 'Permission to go and find my mother?'

Sometimes the truth is arrived at by adding all the little lies together and deducting them from the totality of what is known.

It's not morbid to talk about death. Most people don't worry about death, they worry about a bad death.

One day I'll work out what it is you are saying, my lad, and then you'll be in trouble.

Who knows what the future holds.

This isn't life in the fast lane, it's life in the oncoming traffic.