There is always time for another last minute

... when your name is really and truly Percy Blakeney, pronounced 'Black-knee', and you still have bad acne in your twenties, you accept Pimple as a nickname and are grateful that it wasn't anything worse.

Child. That was a terrible thing to say to anyone who was almost thirteen.

Nothing I can say or devise, and nothing anybody else can say or devise, is going to be perfect.

It was so loud and so deep, it wasn't really sound at all, just something that turned the air hard and then hit you with it.

Because no man wants to be a coward in front of a cheese.

Of course, Ankh-Morpork's citizens had always claimed that the river water was incredibly pure. Any water that had passed through so many kidneys, they reasoned, had to be very pure indeed.