It was amazing how many friends you could make by being bad at things, provided you were bad enough to be funny.

What're quantum mechanics?" "I don't know. People who repair quantums, I suppose.

People who didn't need people needed people around to know that they were the kind of people who didn't need people.

The presence of those seeking the truth is infinitely to be preferred to the presence of those who think they've found it.

Of course, it is very important to be sober when you take an exam. Many worthwhile careers in the street-cleansing, fruit-picking and subway-guitar-playing industries have been founded on a lack of understanding of this simple fact.

I intend, before the endgame looms, to die sitting in a chair in my own garden with a glass of brandy in my hand and Thomas Tallis on the iPod. Oh, and since this is England, I had better add, "If wet, in the library." Who could say that this is bad?

Young man, the games we play are lessons we learn. The assumptions we make, things we ignore, and things we change make us what we become.