It was amazing how many friends you could make by being bad at things, provided you were bad enough to be funny.

Personally, I think the best motto for an educational establishment is: 'Or Would You Rather Be a Mule?'

Lessee...he'd gone off after the funeral and gotten drunk. No, not drunk, another word, ended with "er." Drunker. that was it.

I’m a witch. It’s what we do. When it’s nobody else’s business, it’s my business.

WHERE'S MY COW? ARE YOU MY COW?

This is Morbidia," said Vlad. "Although she's been calling herself Tracy lately, to be cool.

Anyway, lots of warrior tribes think that when they die, they go to a heavenly land somewhere," said the toad. "You know, where they can drink and fight and feast forever? So maybe this is theirs." "But this is a real place!" "So? That's what they believe. Besides, they're only small. Maybe the universe is a bit crowded and they have to put heavens anywhere there's room? I'm a toad, so you'll appreciate that I'm having to guess a lot here.