The duke had a mind that ticked like a clock and, like a clock, it regularly went cuckoo.

He sighed. It had come to this. He was a responsible authority, and people could use terms like "core values" at him with impunity.

Have a bit more patience with newbies. Of course some of them act dumb - they're often students, for heaven's sake.

The thing about football - the important thing about football - is that it is not just about football.

Contrary to popular belief and hope, people don't usually come running when they hear a scream. That's not how humans work. Humans look at other humans and say, 'Did you hear a scream?' because the first scream might have been you screaming inside your head, or a horse backfiring.

Seeing, contrary to popular wisdom, isn't believing. It's where belief stops, because it isn't needed any more.

I'm up to my neck in the real world, every day. Just you try doing your VAT return with a head full of goblins.