Only in our dreams are we free. The rest of the time we need wages.

I ushered souls into the next world. I was the grave of all hope. I was the ultimate reality. I was the assassin against whom no lock would hold. - "Yes, point taken, but do you have any particular skills?"

This wasn't food - it was what food became if it had been good and gone to food heaven.

The Auditors fluttered anxiously. And, as always happens in their species when something goes radically wrong and needs fixing instantly, they settled down to try to work how who was to blame.

A hardback's harder at Christmas time because that's a good hardback buying time.

Vampires have risen from the dead, the grave, and the crypt, but have never managed it from the cat.

Sergeant Colon of the Ankh-Morpork City Guard was on duty. He was guarding the Brass Bridge, the main link between Ankh and Morpork. From theft. When it came to crime prevention, Sergeant Colon found it safest to think big.