A hardback's harder at Christmas time because that's a good hardback buying time.

It's no wonder most religions are born in the desert, because when men lay beneath that boundless night sky and look up at the infinite expanse of creation they have an uncontrollable urge to put something in the way .

Probably the last sound heard before the Universe folded up like a paper hat would be someone saying, "What happens if I do this?"

If you have enough book space, I don't want to talk to you.

That, lad," he said proudly, "was some of the worst poetry I have heard for a long time. It was offensive to the ear and a torrrture to the soul....We'll make a gonnagle out of ye yet!

Five exclamation marks: the sure sign of an insane mind.

Never build a dungeon you wouldn't be happy to spend the night in yourself. The world would be a happier place if more people remembered that.