WHERE'S MY COW? ARE YOU MY COW?

If failure had no penalty success would not be a prize.

...it is well known that a vital ingredient of success is not knowing that what you're attempting can't be done.

I once absent-mindedly ordered Three Mile Island dressing in a restaurant and, with great presence of mind, they brought Thousand Island Dressing and a bottle of chili sauce.

I wish that the people who sing about the deeds of heroes would think about the people who have to clear up after them.

They'd smash up the world if they thought it would make a pretty noise.

Vampires have risen from the dead, the grave, and the crypt, but have never managed it from the cat.