It was like being in a Jane Austen novel, but one with far less clothing.

In ancient times cats were worshiped as gods; they have not forgotten this.

He was certain he was anorectic, because every time he looked in a mirror he saw a fat man. It was the Archchancellor, standing behind him and shouting at him.

It was, according to the history books, the fastest coronation since Bubric the Saxon crowned himself with a very pointy crown on a hill during a thunderstorm, and reigned for one and a half seconds.

Fascism may be good at making the trains run on time, but you wouldn't like some of the destinations.

He had about the same life expectancy as a three legged hedgehog on a six lane motorway.

First Thoughts are the everyday thoughts. Everyone has those. Second Thoughts are the thoughts you think about the way you think. People who enjoy thinking have those. Third Thoughts are thoughts that watch the world and think all by themselves. They’re rare, and often troublesome. Listening to them is part of witchcraft.