I can hardly find the words to describe the peace I felt when I was acting. My dysfunctional self could actually plug in to another self, not my own, and it felt so good.

Then I became a mother and it just fills every space, that isn't filled with something else important. It's just like this incredible balloon that blows up and fills life up.

From about the age of 5, I was aware that I didn't fit. I was the black, atheist kid in the all-white, Catholic school run by nuns. I was an anomaly.

I see a wiser person than when I was younger: having babies, and passing 30, were the turning points. What women in their 40s - I am 39 - lack in gorgeousness, they make up for in wisdom. I love ageing, despite the drawbacks - thinner, drier skin.

The reality is that who you are is who you are right this second, not who you were at any moment in the past because it doesn't exist anymore. It's done. It's over.

You're inviting hysteria with your boobs that are nearly showing nipple and your skirt that's nearly showing muff. You're exciting this hysteria that leads to a lack of control, which then leads to, "It wasn't my fault." But naked, I have all the power because I got there before you did, and what is actually there is vulnerable, life-giving and hasn't been tampered with.

Having children is life-changing, to state the obvious. It's a gigantic shift in your life and I welcomed it.