Remember that Cosby show where he harrassed the children? Well I put on a little suit and because I am so small they invited me on but nobody was laughing at my jokes. I guess I'm just, too, particularly smart for them.

It's impossible being me, I radiate a glow that makes others turn and grimace in horror as if staring into the sun.

I didn't ask to be Thom Yorke. Thom Yorke asked to be me.

If I could be any animal I would be a pony because then I could have sex with ponies.

The pointless snide remarks of hammerheaded sharks

My nickname in high school was jack-o-lantern because I'm missing 9 teeth

Well, my son really loves wildlife. And everytime he draws a polar bear I want to tell him there probably won't any by the time... he's my age. That's kinda hard to deal with.