In movies, you just see somebody close their eyes, and you go on to the next scene.

I'm the luckiest unlucky person.

It's not the child's responsibility to teach the parent who they are. It's the parent's responsibility to learn who the child is.

Everything's happened to me. Nothing can happen to me now.

I didn't just want to be the one who was always looking around at the weird family members. I wanted to make my mistakes.

In standup, you don't have anything near you except a microphone.

I am just at tragedy right now.