Not many people have had as much bad luck as I have, but not many people have had as much good luck, either.

I was really into music. I started playing guitar also when I was nine. I wanted to be in the Beatles, even though John Lennon died the year I got a guitar and the Beatles broke up before I was born.

As soon as I say I'm from Texas people say, "Oh, I'm sure the school was horrible" and they picture me wearing some barrel and suspenders and people are bucktoothed and ignoring me. But that's not the case. I just had zero interest. I wanted to finish my research in the woods or play guitar or go have a cigarette.

There's something a lot more self-conscious feeling when there's cameras coming in for close-ups. It makes you very aware.

It's not the child's responsibility to teach the parent who they are. It's the parent's responsibility to learn who the child is.

I didn't know whether I'd be attractive to anybody.

When I announced I had cancer on stage, it was my brain leaping to that insane moment of, "There's no way I could start a show saying, 'Hi, I have cancer!'" And also for me to have these scars, and then think, "Oh my gosh, what if I did stand-up and not even acknowledge that my shirt was off, or that I have scars.