A lot of times people will have after-parties or try and host an event for comedians, and they misunderstand us. They think it should be wild and crazy, or loud music, and comedians are typically pretty mellow people that just want to talk to each other. I think it would be highly unusual to find comedians who want to be at a loud, crowded party.

My age makes all my wrinkles and gray hair make sense.

When I couldn't get ahold of cigarettes, I'd roll coffee grounds into typing paper and smoke that and then vomit.

I'm always going to do whatever I think is funniest. If something's dark, I'll do it. If it's a sock puppet, if it's a stool, I'll do it.

I was talking and playing pranks and skipping school, failing pretty much every class I took.

I really wanted to, but I just didn't understand how people became comedians. I kind of thought it was something you were born into. And so I wanted to be a veterinarian or an architect. I wanted to be in a band, and for some reason I could understand how you could be in a band because I had guitars and all my friends played music. Comedy was a secret want, but it wasn't anything I pursued.

I didn't just want to be the one who was always looking around at the weird family members. I wanted to make my mistakes.