I resent my barber when he charges the full cost after he cuts my hair, but he says he's charging me for finding it.

Don Knotts was a really big influence, especially on the Steve Allen show. I mean, look at the guy, his entire life is in his face.

At first I wanted to be a jockey. I rode horses in Cleveland but I kept falling off and I was afraid of horses. So there wasn't much of a future in it.

I spend a lot of time thinking of the Hereafter - each time I enter a room I wonder what I'm here after.

When I watch TV, I'm embarrassed by some of what's on.

People enjoy sitting back knowing they won't hear a lot of four-letter words.

Phyllis Diller came through a mine field of male comedians when she arrived on the comedy scene and she defused them all. She won her place in the Hall of Comedy as the First Lady. I will miss her.