Once parents have a clear idea of their important parenting goals, beliefs, and values, they can then think about specific situations and identify the outcomes they would like to achieve in these situations. How can you be the parent you want to be whether or not your children are behaving as you would prefer?

I always thought if you really want to be a good actor, you've got to be able to fart in public. That, to me, is the most important. If you are so inhibited that you can't fart, I don't mean around your friends, I mean just a fart, out loud somewhere. I don't mean the 'silent creeper', everybody does that. I mean fart out loud! Just that you can do it and not be afraid of it. Humility is very important.

Spending time with the child or adolescent in mutually enjoyable activities on a regular basis will help to build warmth and trust.

Any statements from the parents may seem like criticism or judgment by the child or adolescent. It's very important that the child or adolescent does most of the talking and the parent asks questions curiously to understand the perspective of the child or adolescent.

There is no one best way for parents to become the parents they want to be just as there is no one best way for a child to grow into a contented and contributing member of society.

Once parents have a clear idea of their important parenting goals, beliefs, and values, they can then think about specific situations and identify the outcomes they would like to achieve in these situations. How can you be the parent you want to be whether or not your children are behaving as you would prefer?

I consider parenting skills, those skills that help children: (1) develop clear and important goals; and (2) figure out flexible and persistent ways of achieving their goals.