One of the most important goals to have may well be the goal to create the life you want without preventing other people from creating the life they want.

A parenting program should provide time for parents to clarify their own ideas about what it means to be an effective and successful parent.

Spending time with the child or adolescent in mutually enjoyable activities on a regular basis will help to build warmth and trust.

Somewhat paradoxically, parenting programs should focus on the behavior of the parents not the behavior of the children.

Any statements from the parents may seem like criticism or judgment by the child or adolescent. It's very important that the child or adolescent does most of the talking and the parent asks questions curiously to understand the perspective of the child or adolescent.

Once parents have a clear idea of their important parenting goals, beliefs, and values, they can then think about specific situations and identify the outcomes they would like to achieve in these situations. How can you be the parent you want to be whether or not your children are behaving as you would prefer?

Prioritizing listening to their child or adolescent is extremely important. It can be very hard to listen to someone who is upset or troubled without offering advice or suggestions or otherwise telling him or her what to do.