Somewhat paradoxically, parenting programs should focus on the behavior of the parents not the behavior of the children.

Parents typically don't talk to each other about their goals and attitudes to parenting but this type of conversation could be very useful for helping parents become clearer about the things that are important to them.

One of the most important goals to have may well be the goal to create the life you want without preventing other people from creating the life they want.

One of the premises of parenting might be that the job of parents is to teach their kids to get along without them.

A parenting program should provide time for parents to clarify their own ideas about what it means to be an effective and successful parent.

When a child or adolescent is troubled, the most important thing for the parent to focus on may very well be their relationship with their child or adolescent. Parents need to do whatever they can to make sure the relationship is strong.

I consider parenting skills, those skills that help children: (1) develop clear and important goals; and (2) figure out flexible and persistent ways of achieving their goals.