Attitudes of optimism, of "let them be", and of joy in watching and helping another life develop and blossom will help parents relish their parenting role and will provide the resilience necessary to navigate turbulent times.

Accessing a "professional listener" such as a psychologist or counselor can be useful if the loved one wants to use this form of support.

There is no one best way for parents to become the parents they want to be just as there is no one best way for a child to grow into a contented and contributing member of society.

Any statements from the parents may seem like criticism or judgment by the child or adolescent. It's very important that the child or adolescent does most of the talking and the parent asks questions curiously to understand the perspective of the child or adolescent.

I consider parenting skills, those skills that help children: (1) develop clear and important goals; and (2) figure out flexible and persistent ways of achieving their goals.

Prioritizing listening to their child or adolescent is extremely important. It can be very hard to listen to someone who is upset or troubled without offering advice or suggestions or otherwise telling him or her what to do.

Once parents have a clear idea of their important parenting goals, beliefs, and values, they can then think about specific situations and identify the outcomes they would like to achieve in these situations. How can you be the parent you want to be whether or not your children are behaving as you would prefer?