My ability to turn good news into anxiety is rivaled only by my ability to turn anxiety into chin acne.

It's easy to fall into the trap of just cranking out things that are good enough to sell.

As an improviser, I always find it jarring when I meet someone in real life whose first answer is no. “No, we can’t do that.” “No, that’s not in the budget.” “No, I will not hold your hand for a dollar.” What kind of way is that to live?

I had a gentleman in college tell me, during a date, that I could be really pretty if I lost some weight. On a date!

If you care about [the characters] as if they were real, that always helps.

I have no affinity for animals. I don’t hate animals and I would never hurt an animal; I just don’t actively care about them. When a coworker shows me cute pictures of her dog, I struggle to respond correctly, like an autistic person who has been taught to recognize human emotions from flash cards. In short, I am the worst.

"30 Rock" is over, so I definitely aspire to write another movie again; eventually, will try to pitch something for television again.