My ability to turn good news into anxiety is rivaled only by my ability to turn anxiety into chin acne.

Then she took out a speculum the size of a milk shake machine. Even Michelle Duggar would have flinched at this thing, but I had never seen one before.

Don't be too precious or attached to anything you write. Let things be malleable.

Quentin Tarantino is here, star of all my sexual nightmares.

If you retain nothing else, always remember the most important Rule of Beauty. “Who cares?”

Trying to be a leader in a sort of very atypical workplace like 'Saturday Night Live' forces you to realize that no one wants you to be their leader. If you can help them get their thing on TV or whatever, they want that. But no adult is looking for a role model.

Most of the time you're too busy to think about it. But every now and then you say, 'I work at 'Saturday Night Live,' and that is so cool.