You're not in competition with other women. You're in competition with everyone.

I am extremely square and obedient in nature!

Amy Poehler and I have been friends for so long, we're like Oprah and Gale. Only we're not denying anything.

North Korea referred to The Interview as absolutely intolerable and a wanton act of terror. Even more amazing: not the worst review the movie got.

[Please let my daughter] not have to wear high heels.

Let's review the cost-free techniques that we've learned so far for raising an achievement-oriented, obedient, drug-free, virgin adult: Calamity, Praise, Local Theater, and flat feet. Another key element is "Strong Father Figure / Fear Thereof."

Not only is my wardrobe totally average, my body's totally average. I love all the candy-fantasy fulfillment of Sex and the City.