Never tell a crazy person he’s crazy.

In my experience, the hardest thing about having someone "come out" to you is the "pretending to be surprised" part.

Let's review the cost-free techniques that we've learned so far for raising an achievement-oriented, obedient, drug-free, virgin adult: Calamity, Praise, Local Theater, and flat feet. Another key element is "Strong Father Figure / Fear Thereof."

I like to crack the jokes now and again, but it's only because I struggle with math.

One of the great things about doing animated movies is that you don't have to dress up or put on make-up.

Ah, babies! They’re more than just adorable little creatures on whom you can blame your farts.

That turned-up collar. The jacket that zipped all the way down the front into a nice fitted shape. The white denim that made my untanned skin look like a color.